All Things Being Equal

ATBE, here are some things I would never say "No" to:

-wanna play basketball?

-should we bring you some more chips?

-do you mind if I put the Replacements on the jukebox?

-next weekend, you wanna get a 12-pack and rent Point Break?

-would you care for a baked potato?

-(expunged obvious sexual joke)

-come on, stay for one more beer.

-why don't you come in a little late tomorrow?

-would you like the Super Combo for 89 cents more?

-do you want to buy a box in this Super Bowl pool?

-I hereby request that you grow a beard.


The problem with all that is that All Things are never really Equal.

Wait, I think there was a night in maybe August of 1992 where They Were All Equal.

Since ATWE, I found myself unable to say no to a number of things. I still don't feel comfortable discussing the events of that evening in public. Here are a few things that were involved: The Maltese Falcon, The Pinckney Street Hideaway, a drunk Italian on a Harley, and a girl with fashionably short hair who's now dead. Not necessarily in that order.

You think I'm kidding.

Thanks, but I'll stay right here where All Things Aren't Equal.