New York City, imagine that

I'm back in NYC after a ten day run in The OC. I wonder if people there hate it when other people call it "The OC". I bet they don't.

Not one of the best vacations ever. I was sick, Ma Bungle was sick, and eventually Baby Bungle got sick too. Really sick. She's gotten much better but she's still not 100%.

I've now had a sore throat for about 16 days. Might be time to go to the doctor.

One thing I've always found charming about people who live in Southern California is how satisfied they are with their decision to live there. Here's a typical exchange between me and people I've met out there (usually on the basketball court):

SoCal dude: So, you live around here?
Me: No, I'm from New York. How about you?
SoCal dude: Yeah, I live right up the hill over there.
Me: Wow, it seems like a great place to live.
SoCal dude: I can't complain, man. There's pretty much no place in the world I'd rather be. You get this sunshine, you know...and I like to surf, so I'm like three blocks from the ocean...and the girls aren't bad, either. It's everything I need, dude.

I don't disagree. 80 degrees on January 5th. Beach at your toes all year long. Palm trees. Breezes. Coldies. Backyard grillfests every weekend. I could totally get into that.

But then once in a while, the SoCal person feels a need to insult NYC in the process. Like it's their right. I don't know why they feel entitled to do this, maybe they've met some obnoxious New Yorkers who think New York is the only place worth living. But I am not one of those people and I don't appreciate having my lifestyle second-guessed by people who don't even know me.

Like when Baby Bungle was sick, we took her to the doctor, a tan, middle-aged dude from the San Clemente area. He asked us where we were from, and when we said NYC, he was all, "Yeah, my daughter's going to school out there this semester. So I'll be visiting in April. But you know, every time I go out to New York, I can't wait to get home. All those people crowded together in such a small space, everybody's so busy and pushy...no thanks, I'll take San Clemente any day. This is just fine."

I feel like saying, "Thanks, man. I appreciate you dogging the place I've chosen to live. That's very respectful of you."

It's happened to me a few times. In California. In Wisconsin. In Chicago. I don't know what it is about NY -- does it make people feel insecure or something, is that why they feel the need to cast a big vote against it for no reason? And please understand: I respect their opinion, I understand that they honestly dislike NYC, I feel the same way myself half the time. New York can definitely suck.

But would I ever meet someone from Iowa and say, "Wow, Iowa, huh? Not my cup of tea. Just sitting around in a cornfield all day. What do you guys do for fun, cruise over to the Dairy Queen and smoke cigarettes in the parking lot? Screw your cousin?"

No, I don't. Because that would be rude. Instead, I am as gracious as possible. No matter what the place, I give it an enthusiastic endorsement and I tell the person it sounds like a great place to live. So please show me and anyone else you meet from NYC the same respect.

Unless they're an intolerable d-weed.

***

One of the things that happens when you are flying on aeroplanes is that you buy magazines that you normally wouldn't. The circumstances -- long, sedentary flight, only 36 channels available -- mitigate any guilt you'd normally feel. I bought Blender this time, which is a pretty crappy magazine but sort of enjoyable nonetheless. In reading this issue of Blender, I came across information that I am now transforming into a twelve-genius-point trivia question. Obviously, you may not do any kind of research in forming your answer.

Here goes: what Hollywood actress stopped by the studio and convinced R.E.M. to rename the song "Fuck Me Kitten" to "Star Me Kitten"? Solve away.

***

Well it's only two days before Hand Jobs goes up and makes his big announcement. The Mac Geeks are practically frothing at the mouth. And I am watching with pretty keen interest myself. I wonder if it's possible that I can buy a Mac, enjoy its functionality and design, get lots of great use out of it, but manage to avoid becoming a shameless Jobs-jocker in the process. I hope so.

Here's my prediction, btw: Jobs will debut an Intel-based iBook at his speech, and it will be available immediately. The PowerBooks will be available a couple months later. I will wait.