twenny
1. The New York Knicks may be the worst organization in all of sports. Bad and looking to stay that way for quite some time. What a mess.
2. And if the human race were the world of professional sports, Dick Cheney would be the New York Knicks. When a pass doesn't connect on the basketball court, Clyde Frazier likes to say, "It's always the passer's fault." Meaning that it is incumbent upon the passer to throw the ball in such a way that guarantees it will be caught. You could throw a nice pass, right on target, and it might bounce off the dude's hands because he's a klondike. That's your fault, Clyde would argue, because you should have known he was a klondike and either thrown him a better, even more catchable pass or not thrown it at all. I don't necessarily agree all the time, but I think the same rule applies to shooting your friends. It's always the shooter's fault. Sure, the old dude maybe didn't announce himself, but you still can't be shooting people, announced or unannounced. I love how the early reports were all trying to pin it on the old dude. Like, Dude, you gotta give me a heads-up or something. Come on. Of course I'm gonna shoot you if you just come walkin' up like that in your orange jacket. How am I supposed to know you're not a bunch of birds?
3. p.s. Hunting is stupid as hell, especially Hunting Cheney Style.
4. Blizz o' Sizz is shaping up as a big phony. Sure it gave us a couple of feet of snow, but it wasn't all that tough, really. In fact, I don't think it ever met the necessary conditions to call itself a blizzard (such as condition no. 1 -- you walk outside in it and go, "Holy Fuck! What a Blizzard!"). Back in my day, way back in the previous century, we had us a real man's blizzard. It was 1996 and that storm kicked our city's ass. I seem to remember crying a lot.
5. Of the many things I wanted to happen to pull me out of my funk, several almost happened. I almost played basketball, I almost played touch football in the snow, and we almost had a snow day at work. But I am still 0 for the list so far. Not giving up though.
6. Since I last rapped at ya, I have watched two movies on HDNet. HDNet shows some really good movies. The first was Mean Streets. Believe it or not, I'd never seen it all the way through. What a great movie. For me the best part was seeing early-70's NYC laid out in all its scummy glory. When they drive down 8th street and you see Whelan's Drug Store, where Gray's Papaya now stands, I instantly became 5 years old again. Plus, Robert DeNiro was so amazing in that movie. He's been on autopilot for so long now that you can forget what a versatile, dynamic, handsome, light-on-his-feet young dude he was. Ridiculous. As much as I like Harvey Keitel -- after all, he's Harvey Keitel -- there are several scenes with him and DeNiro where I was going, "Man, Harvey Keitel's a stiff." It was really just that DeNiro was so spectacular. He even made the DeNiro Face (band name?) a few times.
7. The other movie I saw was Coogan's Bluff. Another one I've seen parts of on TNT over the years but never watched all the way through. What a trippy movie. I don't know that I'd call it good, but it sure is fascinating. More great NYC footage, this from 1968ish. If you see it, don't watch it on regular TV, you need the unedited version. It gets you access to what for all intents and purposes is a rave at a downtown NYC club called The Pigeon-Toed Orange Peel, where the song of choice is, incidentally, The Pigeon-Toed Orange Peel. This scene is so choice, so preposterous and stupid and entertaining, that I would go so far as to say it is the inspiration for every scene in every movie that has come out since Coogan's Bluff. In addition to that scene, you also get some great foul language and drug use. Eastwood and Don Siegel made some really interesting movies together. Since Eastwood pretty much plays the same character in every movie he's ever been in, you end up getting confused and you think that the values of the character are stand-ins for Clint's own values. Hopefully that ain't the case, because his characters are real weirdos. In this movie, he's Coogan, an Arizona deputy who's come to NY to extradite a prisoner. But the prisoner has taken a bad acid trip and is now holed up in Bellevue, and Coogan can't have him until he's cleared medically to go. Of course Coogan has no patience for these damn rules and procedures, so he bluffs his way into Bellevue and gets his man. Then, through Coogan's incompetence, the dude escapes. So you expect the rest of the movie to be packed with action and suspense as Coogan tracks the fugitive. But that only accounts for about 30% of it. Most of it is Coogan trying, with some success, to bang a series of NYC women (including the mom from Webster!). He also kicks a hooker in the ass. There is a great motorcycle chase up by the Cloisters at the end of the movie, followed by a ridiculously staged fight scene, but on the whole the movie is slow and kind of clumsy. But worth seeing for sure. Lee J. Cobb remains one of the best actors of all time.
8. Nobody got basketballproteachdat. The answer we were looking for was "whistle." Jenny taught Mike Finley how to whistle. Not sure how exactly she taught him. I know that was a hard one but that's why they're not called reasonably intelligent dude points.
9. Thanks again to Bango T. for the post and mp3's. Since I lost my iPod I haven't been listening to music at all and it feels good to hear it again. We'll leave 'em up for a few more days and then they go bye-bye.
10. Just read the Kurt Vonnegut book from last year. It's a collection of essays on the world today as he sees it and it took about an hour to read. It's slight but the dude is still pretty nimble at age 82 and my hat is off to him. I laughed out loud several times and I was interested the whole way through. Anybody wants to borrow it it's theirs. Same goes for The Tender Bar, which is also worth a read. PBdotC I still have to get you your Frey book back. My messenger bag.
11. Still no news on the forthcoming Apple laptops, but my sense is that I am going to give in and order one once they clear the customer review hurdle. New computers are a whole lot of fun.
12. We are going to have a new edition of Trayline soon, and in it we may or may not tackle the controversial evening in which young Hans Bungle may have been violated by a drifter. Let's get excited for this.
13. Has there ever been a slower NBA guard than Mark Jackson? He was gross. I do give him kwachas for a long and successful career. Don't really like him, though.
14. Whodat (ten points)?
15. More than ever before, weekends are truly made for Michelob. Meaning I am treasuring them to the point where it's getting unhealthy.
16. I was doing laundry tonight, and when I bent over to put some stuff in the machine, my pants split. That's the first time that's ever happened to me. It's hard to find it encouraging.
17. I've decided that come spring I should either start riding my bike more often or I should sell it. Otherwise I'm pretty much just waiting for it to get stolen. Wanna buy a bike?
18. Another ten GP's to whoever can come up with the best tagline to replace "the information you need from the names you trust" at the top of this page.
19. Enough with Sebastian Telfair.
20. My winter boots are 11 years old, crackin' up, and ugly. But they will not be replaced this year. Go winter boots.
2. And if the human race were the world of professional sports, Dick Cheney would be the New York Knicks. When a pass doesn't connect on the basketball court, Clyde Frazier likes to say, "It's always the passer's fault." Meaning that it is incumbent upon the passer to throw the ball in such a way that guarantees it will be caught. You could throw a nice pass, right on target, and it might bounce off the dude's hands because he's a klondike. That's your fault, Clyde would argue, because you should have known he was a klondike and either thrown him a better, even more catchable pass or not thrown it at all. I don't necessarily agree all the time, but I think the same rule applies to shooting your friends. It's always the shooter's fault. Sure, the old dude maybe didn't announce himself, but you still can't be shooting people, announced or unannounced. I love how the early reports were all trying to pin it on the old dude. Like, Dude, you gotta give me a heads-up or something. Come on. Of course I'm gonna shoot you if you just come walkin' up like that in your orange jacket. How am I supposed to know you're not a bunch of birds?
3. p.s. Hunting is stupid as hell, especially Hunting Cheney Style.
4. Blizz o' Sizz is shaping up as a big phony. Sure it gave us a couple of feet of snow, but it wasn't all that tough, really. In fact, I don't think it ever met the necessary conditions to call itself a blizzard (such as condition no. 1 -- you walk outside in it and go, "Holy Fuck! What a Blizzard!"). Back in my day, way back in the previous century, we had us a real man's blizzard. It was 1996 and that storm kicked our city's ass. I seem to remember crying a lot.
5. Of the many things I wanted to happen to pull me out of my funk, several almost happened. I almost played basketball, I almost played touch football in the snow, and we almost had a snow day at work. But I am still 0 for the list so far. Not giving up though.
6. Since I last rapped at ya, I have watched two movies on HDNet. HDNet shows some really good movies. The first was Mean Streets. Believe it or not, I'd never seen it all the way through. What a great movie. For me the best part was seeing early-70's NYC laid out in all its scummy glory. When they drive down 8th street and you see Whelan's Drug Store, where Gray's Papaya now stands, I instantly became 5 years old again. Plus, Robert DeNiro was so amazing in that movie. He's been on autopilot for so long now that you can forget what a versatile, dynamic, handsome, light-on-his-feet young dude he was. Ridiculous. As much as I like Harvey Keitel -- after all, he's Harvey Keitel -- there are several scenes with him and DeNiro where I was going, "Man, Harvey Keitel's a stiff." It was really just that DeNiro was so spectacular. He even made the DeNiro Face (band name?) a few times.
7. The other movie I saw was Coogan's Bluff. Another one I've seen parts of on TNT over the years but never watched all the way through. What a trippy movie. I don't know that I'd call it good, but it sure is fascinating. More great NYC footage, this from 1968ish. If you see it, don't watch it on regular TV, you need the unedited version. It gets you access to what for all intents and purposes is a rave at a downtown NYC club called The Pigeon-Toed Orange Peel, where the song of choice is, incidentally, The Pigeon-Toed Orange Peel. This scene is so choice, so preposterous and stupid and entertaining, that I would go so far as to say it is the inspiration for every scene in every movie that has come out since Coogan's Bluff. In addition to that scene, you also get some great foul language and drug use. Eastwood and Don Siegel made some really interesting movies together. Since Eastwood pretty much plays the same character in every movie he's ever been in, you end up getting confused and you think that the values of the character are stand-ins for Clint's own values. Hopefully that ain't the case, because his characters are real weirdos. In this movie, he's Coogan, an Arizona deputy who's come to NY to extradite a prisoner. But the prisoner has taken a bad acid trip and is now holed up in Bellevue, and Coogan can't have him until he's cleared medically to go. Of course Coogan has no patience for these damn rules and procedures, so he bluffs his way into Bellevue and gets his man. Then, through Coogan's incompetence, the dude escapes. So you expect the rest of the movie to be packed with action and suspense as Coogan tracks the fugitive. But that only accounts for about 30% of it. Most of it is Coogan trying, with some success, to bang a series of NYC women (including the mom from Webster!). He also kicks a hooker in the ass. There is a great motorcycle chase up by the Cloisters at the end of the movie, followed by a ridiculously staged fight scene, but on the whole the movie is slow and kind of clumsy. But worth seeing for sure. Lee J. Cobb remains one of the best actors of all time.
8. Nobody got basketballproteachdat. The answer we were looking for was "whistle." Jenny taught Mike Finley how to whistle. Not sure how exactly she taught him. I know that was a hard one but that's why they're not called reasonably intelligent dude points.
9. Thanks again to Bango T. for the post and mp3's. Since I lost my iPod I haven't been listening to music at all and it feels good to hear it again. We'll leave 'em up for a few more days and then they go bye-bye.
10. Just read the Kurt Vonnegut book from last year. It's a collection of essays on the world today as he sees it and it took about an hour to read. It's slight but the dude is still pretty nimble at age 82 and my hat is off to him. I laughed out loud several times and I was interested the whole way through. Anybody wants to borrow it it's theirs. Same goes for The Tender Bar, which is also worth a read. PBdotC I still have to get you your Frey book back. My messenger bag.
11. Still no news on the forthcoming Apple laptops, but my sense is that I am going to give in and order one once they clear the customer review hurdle. New computers are a whole lot of fun.
12. We are going to have a new edition of Trayline soon, and in it we may or may not tackle the controversial evening in which young Hans Bungle may have been violated by a drifter. Let's get excited for this.
13. Has there ever been a slower NBA guard than Mark Jackson? He was gross. I do give him kwachas for a long and successful career. Don't really like him, though.
14. Whodat (ten points)?
15. More than ever before, weekends are truly made for Michelob. Meaning I am treasuring them to the point where it's getting unhealthy.
16. I was doing laundry tonight, and when I bent over to put some stuff in the machine, my pants split. That's the first time that's ever happened to me. It's hard to find it encouraging.
17. I've decided that come spring I should either start riding my bike more often or I should sell it. Otherwise I'm pretty much just waiting for it to get stolen. Wanna buy a bike?
18. Another ten GP's to whoever can come up with the best tagline to replace "the information you need from the names you trust" at the top of this page.
19. Enough with Sebastian Telfair.
20. My winter boots are 11 years old, crackin' up, and ugly. But they will not be replaced this year. Go winter boots.
posted by hans q. bungle at 01:11
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home