suckers
It's 1:18 am and I'm drinking a 32 oz. Blue Powerade. I might drink the whole thing, too. That's because I'm all grown up and I can do that. It's not as good as Gatorade, btw. Too sweet.
Today I was dehydrated. Pissing, drinking, pissing. Too much salty food plus the early stages of adult onset diabetes no doubt.
I'd like to send a thick load of kwachas to all the people out there in the world who just suck at life. You never fail to impress me with your consistent ability to produce substandard work and to perform badly in all human functions, making my own often mediocre efforts look inspired by comparison. I mean, I am pretty lousy at a lot of stuff, but you -- you really put me to shame. You suck! I don't know how you do it. You're the best.
Like A.J. Soprano. That kid sucks! And all you people out there who get fired from some easy job for incompetence, well, you must suck pretty bad yourselves. Jaret Wright -- you suck plenty. Billy Packer, man you suck in plain view of the world and nobody even thinks to stop you. GWB, I think you're even starting to realize you suck. You are like 0 for 39 since you took office. That sucks! You're lousy at presidenting!
Enough about those who suck. On to those who run with great swiftness. MDilly would indeed yell "Bang!" and pantomime a pistol shot at his opponent when he was running his fly pattern. He would refer to that moment, the instant when he separated himself with a ridiculous speed burst, as the (insert opponent's last name) Barrier. As in, "I just broke the Peterson Barrier, did you hear the bang?" The "Bang" and accompanying pistol gesture evolved from a rather immature game we used to play while driving on the highway during long trips. Every time we passed a car, we would make eye contact with the driver and then hit them with the pistol move while mouthing (or yelling) the word "Bang!" Incidentally, that move goes over way better on I-94 in Northwest Wisconsin than it does on the Sprain Parkway in the Bronx. Whatever, we mostly used it among ourselves when we had multiple cars going to the same destination.
"Bang!"
It still cracks my juvenile ass up for some reason.
FYI, saying the word "Bang!" with the right amount of confidence is a pretty good way to express dominance in any arena.
Example: You've just turned in an overdue expense report to the finance department.
You: "Bang!"
Finance Department is impressed at the very least.
MDilly is a fascinating character and I would dedicate an entire blog to his bizarre superhuman feats if I knew he couldn't be prosecuted for them. I'm not sure if he's in the clear yet.
My Mac shipped today via FedEx! Holy fucking balls! Please let it work good. None of these high-pitched processor whines or dead pixels or flaming batteries. Come on. Just a nice new computer that runs all speedy and does cool shit that makes me a better human being.
For eight GP's, no googling or deli-scavenging or any research whatsoever allowed, what is the official name of the Blue Powerade flavor (hint: it's not "Blue")?
I had a Boca Burger for dinner tonight so I can tell you the first five ingredients listed:
-water
-organic textured soy flour
-organic mild cheddar cheese
-organic textured wheat gluten
-wheat gluten
Looking at the Bocadat guesses from a few weeks back, it looks like we will give five poinst to Deion for "water" and five to Isired for "wheat gluten." Nice work, fellas.
I think I could nail the "Welcome Back, Kotter" theme at karaoke. Just bring the house down with that shit. That and "Hungry Heart." I could also do a nice job on anything by the Replacements, but nobody has 'em on their karaoke menu. "Waitress in the Sky" would be my first choice if they did. What's your go-to karaoke song? "Bust a Move" is surprisingly challenging.
Another challenge because we're feeling feisty, this one for eight points, no research allowed: How long did Lindbergh's transatlantic flight take in 1927 (you can guess down to the tenth of a second if you like, closest guess gets the points)?
This is a couple days late, but here is my entire post from three years ago Sunday:
Today I was dehydrated. Pissing, drinking, pissing. Too much salty food plus the early stages of adult onset diabetes no doubt.
I'd like to send a thick load of kwachas to all the people out there in the world who just suck at life. You never fail to impress me with your consistent ability to produce substandard work and to perform badly in all human functions, making my own often mediocre efforts look inspired by comparison. I mean, I am pretty lousy at a lot of stuff, but you -- you really put me to shame. You suck! I don't know how you do it. You're the best.
Like A.J. Soprano. That kid sucks! And all you people out there who get fired from some easy job for incompetence, well, you must suck pretty bad yourselves. Jaret Wright -- you suck plenty. Billy Packer, man you suck in plain view of the world and nobody even thinks to stop you. GWB, I think you're even starting to realize you suck. You are like 0 for 39 since you took office. That sucks! You're lousy at presidenting!
Enough about those who suck. On to those who run with great swiftness. MDilly would indeed yell "Bang!" and pantomime a pistol shot at his opponent when he was running his fly pattern. He would refer to that moment, the instant when he separated himself with a ridiculous speed burst, as the (insert opponent's last name) Barrier. As in, "I just broke the Peterson Barrier, did you hear the bang?" The "Bang" and accompanying pistol gesture evolved from a rather immature game we used to play while driving on the highway during long trips. Every time we passed a car, we would make eye contact with the driver and then hit them with the pistol move while mouthing (or yelling) the word "Bang!" Incidentally, that move goes over way better on I-94 in Northwest Wisconsin than it does on the Sprain Parkway in the Bronx. Whatever, we mostly used it among ourselves when we had multiple cars going to the same destination.
"Bang!"
It still cracks my juvenile ass up for some reason.
FYI, saying the word "Bang!" with the right amount of confidence is a pretty good way to express dominance in any arena.
Example: You've just turned in an overdue expense report to the finance department.
You: "Bang!"
Finance Department is impressed at the very least.
MDilly is a fascinating character and I would dedicate an entire blog to his bizarre superhuman feats if I knew he couldn't be prosecuted for them. I'm not sure if he's in the clear yet.
My Mac shipped today via FedEx! Holy fucking balls! Please let it work good. None of these high-pitched processor whines or dead pixels or flaming batteries. Come on. Just a nice new computer that runs all speedy and does cool shit that makes me a better human being.
For eight GP's, no googling or deli-scavenging or any research whatsoever allowed, what is the official name of the Blue Powerade flavor (hint: it's not "Blue")?
I had a Boca Burger for dinner tonight so I can tell you the first five ingredients listed:
-water
-organic textured soy flour
-organic mild cheddar cheese
-organic textured wheat gluten
-wheat gluten
Looking at the Bocadat guesses from a few weeks back, it looks like we will give five poinst to Deion for "water" and five to Isired for "wheat gluten." Nice work, fellas.
I think I could nail the "Welcome Back, Kotter" theme at karaoke. Just bring the house down with that shit. That and "Hungry Heart." I could also do a nice job on anything by the Replacements, but nobody has 'em on their karaoke menu. "Waitress in the Sky" would be my first choice if they did. What's your go-to karaoke song? "Bust a Move" is surprisingly challenging.
Another challenge because we're feeling feisty, this one for eight points, no research allowed: How long did Lindbergh's transatlantic flight take in 1927 (you can guess down to the tenth of a second if you like, closest guess gets the points)?
This is a couple days late, but here is my entire post from three years ago Sunday:
3/19/03:
What a day today. Worked a full day, flew to Miami, checked into our hotel, found out it was kind of a shitty hotel, and now we're looking to check out. Oh, and the war started.
posted by hans q. bungle at 02:01
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