The Disease of Me
OK, I hadn't planned on getting into this series the way I did. And I definitely didn't expect to find myself rooting for The Heat. But I did.
It was a grudging root, though. For one thing, I had started to give in to the "refs gave The Heat Game 5" nonsense that was circulating on the internet.
I read Cuban's bitching.
Which led me over to Simmons' terrified gasping.
I even headed over to NYpost.com and read Peter Vecsey's druggy ramblings.
Seriously, wtf is the matter with that guy and why hasn't anyone confiscated his typewriter after all these years? He simply cannot write, and his attempts at humor are not even coherent enough to make you cringe.
Do you remember when Spy Magazine used to do the Vecsey Joke-o-meter? They would print one of his jokes, then they would tell you what arcane piece of knowledge you needed to arm yourself with in order to get it, and then they would post a percentage of how much funnier the joke got once you understood it. It was usually like -73%.
That was then. Recently, Vecsey has completely slipped over the edge.
I think I saw him in Petite Abeille a couple of weeks ago and he's a much tougher and bigger dude in person than he looks like on TV. But clearly a loony and a mean-spirited one at that.
Back to rooting for the Heat. It was tough, especially when I started to believe that Wade was getting the Jordan benefit of the doubt calls that used to drive me nuts. And maybe he was. But he was also carving up the defense like...Jordan. Nobody could stop him, so they were whacking him around instead.
Anyway, as I watched this game I started rooting for The Heat.
I did it despite being no fan of their punkass contingent: Walker, Williams, Payton and Zo. I mean, I don't hate those guys but they're all pretty annoying:
1) Payton for being a general shitbag most of the time and for jumping on the ShaqWadewagon.
2) Zo for team-hopping like a mercenary, screwing over at least two franchises in the process. My hatred of him is mitigated by his kidney disease.
3) J. Will for some racist and homophobic shit he spouted at an Asian fan in Oakland a few years back.
4) Walker for numerous on-court offenses, with his completely unwarranted continuing faith in his own outside shot and his baby-faced, jiggly-armed shimmy tied for the worst of the bunch.
But I like Shaq. I like Haslem. And I love Wade.
And I still love Riley. As a Knicks fan, I miss his press conferences and his baggy eyes and self-designed suits and his corny talk. I miss seeing the pain that swept across his face after a big loss, the pain that reflected our own pain. I can't help it; I root for the guy.
And I'm glad he won.
And refs or no refs, Dallas deserved to lose this game and this championship. Dirk took some minor steps backward in this series -- he was settling for bad shots and he lost that look that he had in the previous two series, the one that said he was the baddest man on the planet. Maybe he lost it because Wade took it away from him.
Wade is the baddest man on the planet. For now.
Great season for the NBA, and I am not at all worried about Rileyball coming back into vogue and ruining it.
It was a grudging root, though. For one thing, I had started to give in to the "refs gave The Heat Game 5" nonsense that was circulating on the internet.
I read Cuban's bitching.
Which led me over to Simmons' terrified gasping.
I even headed over to NYpost.com and read Peter Vecsey's druggy ramblings.
Seriously, wtf is the matter with that guy and why hasn't anyone confiscated his typewriter after all these years? He simply cannot write, and his attempts at humor are not even coherent enough to make you cringe.
Do you remember when Spy Magazine used to do the Vecsey Joke-o-meter? They would print one of his jokes, then they would tell you what arcane piece of knowledge you needed to arm yourself with in order to get it, and then they would post a percentage of how much funnier the joke got once you understood it. It was usually like -73%.
That was then. Recently, Vecsey has completely slipped over the edge.
I think I saw him in Petite Abeille a couple of weeks ago and he's a much tougher and bigger dude in person than he looks like on TV. But clearly a loony and a mean-spirited one at that.
Back to rooting for the Heat. It was tough, especially when I started to believe that Wade was getting the Jordan benefit of the doubt calls that used to drive me nuts. And maybe he was. But he was also carving up the defense like...Jordan. Nobody could stop him, so they were whacking him around instead.
Anyway, as I watched this game I started rooting for The Heat.
I did it despite being no fan of their punkass contingent: Walker, Williams, Payton and Zo. I mean, I don't hate those guys but they're all pretty annoying:
1) Payton for being a general shitbag most of the time and for jumping on the ShaqWadewagon.
2) Zo for team-hopping like a mercenary, screwing over at least two franchises in the process. My hatred of him is mitigated by his kidney disease.
3) J. Will for some racist and homophobic shit he spouted at an Asian fan in Oakland a few years back.
4) Walker for numerous on-court offenses, with his completely unwarranted continuing faith in his own outside shot and his baby-faced, jiggly-armed shimmy tied for the worst of the bunch.
But I like Shaq. I like Haslem. And I love Wade.
And I still love Riley. As a Knicks fan, I miss his press conferences and his baggy eyes and self-designed suits and his corny talk. I miss seeing the pain that swept across his face after a big loss, the pain that reflected our own pain. I can't help it; I root for the guy.
And I'm glad he won.
And refs or no refs, Dallas deserved to lose this game and this championship. Dirk took some minor steps backward in this series -- he was settling for bad shots and he lost that look that he had in the previous two series, the one that said he was the baddest man on the planet. Maybe he lost it because Wade took it away from him.
Wade is the baddest man on the planet. For now.
Great season for the NBA, and I am not at all worried about Rileyball coming back into vogue and ruining it.
***
Like Moncrief Speaks, I am pretty much posting a youtube link a day lately, and today's is pretty inspired. You've probably seen it already. Even if you have, you should head over to the site of the guys who made the video. The site itself isn't anything special, but I like the concept of National High Five Day. I've spent the better part of fifteen years exploring the high five in all its ridiculous glory. I've taken part in vicious, only-slightly-ironic high-five contests (Appleton '93!), I've photographed genuine, spontaneous and completely unposed high-fives, I've helped introduce the subtler and less drunken-stockbrokerish verbal high five (and its even subtler cousin, the silently mouthed high five), and I really feel connected to the whole stupid tradition. So I hereby announce that I will participate in next year's event.
For ten points, no googling please, what movie featured a starring role that was originally offered to Pat Riley?
For ten points, no googling please, what movie featured a starring role that was originally offered to Pat Riley?
posted by hans q. bungle at 00:24
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