Yesterday's News Today

Good weekend. Did 9 or 10 loads of laundry, played some extremely entertaining softball, watched some good sports and a halfway decent episode of Entourage.

Not really much to write about there.

I enjoyed the hell out of Phil Mickelson's collapse. And today all the sportscasters are like, "Wow, it really showed how human he is. We can all identify with what he went through yesterday, because we all screw up sometimes." Yes, nothing could have been more humanizing and relatable for average schmucks like me. Except, I guess, that when I have a bad day at work I'm not punished with a check for $500K.

I want to make it clear that I only enjoyed the failure because it was Mickelson. Normally I root for humans to succeed at whatever they're attempting. But Mickelson is a gross pig.

The Heat-Mavs game was pretty satisfying. I admit I used to actually enjoy Bill Simmons, but now I read him the way I used to read Peter Vecsey: to drive myself nuts.

Here were his pre-Finals thoughts on Gary Payton, who has now hit two critical, critical shots that (together with D. Wade's video-game-character-like skills) have saved the Heat's ass:

If he's forced to cover Harris or Terry -- which seems likely because GP is more washed-up than Shannen Doherty at this point -- they also can make him work on defense and keep running him off picks.

and...

For Miami, it's the supporting cast -- in close games, if you double-team Wade, the Heat still need the likes of GP, Walker and Posey to make open jumpers. Would you trust these guys in the spotlight of the Finals? Me neither. Taking it a step further, should anyone REALLY be able to win a championship when they're playing the Artist Formerly Known as GP at crunch-time? He's been running on fumes for three years. I just think he'll end up killing them in at least one game, maybe two.

So we get it: you have a Klostermaniacal fixation with pop culture references and you think Gary Payton's best days are behind him (nobody's disputing this last point).

Well, even though Payton's now just a bit player, he's been the deciding factor in 2 games of the NBA finals. Here's to all of us washed-up old jalopies. Up yours, Simmons.

Dipak nailed chipdat with his guess of Megacheesy Doritos. I think we should all eat Doritos every month or so. It's a great way to stay sharp. That and Cerry Coke.

I am going on record right now as saying that Youtube as it exists today cannot last; we are living in its Golden Age and we should appreciate it. Soon it will go the way of the kazaas and Napsters of the world and we'll all miss it. In the meantime, here are a couple cool videos that you may have already seen:

Diet Coke and Mentos

I Want It That Way

I am offering ten GP's per chant right now to anyone who goes to a baseball game and gets some footage of themselves chanting. I believe in this project. The only rule is that the chant has to follow the "Come on, X, blank blank rhymes with X" format. As for creative guidelines, let's just say that the chants should either be really really stoopid or completely brilliant.

As for Bangodat, I can only assume that Milwaukee native DKNY was inspired by Bucks mascot Bango in choosing his pen name:

Bango is cooler looking now than the way I remember him.

A bunch of my college friends were in Appleton, Wisconsin this weekend. I got to talk to 'em for a few minutes each on the phone. They were at the bar. It's kinda neat to see how we all change gradually but significantly over time, yet we can still connect on the same old levels. I miss 'em.

We will have a new Trayline coming soon. I have narrowed it down to maybe three potential stories, and I am trying to figure out if any of them is significant enough to warrant an entire post. I may need to do some combinin'.

There is also one episode of Knicks 101 left in my DVR. It's a horrible Heat-Knicks game from the brief and gruesome Don Nelson era, and I'm having a hard time getting myself to watch it. We will soon have analysis of this rotten game nonetheless. I hope they bring this series back come basketball season. It must get higher ratings than live Knicks braodcasts, no? It does in my household.

For twenty-five points, what was the unofficial theme song of Spring Break '87 in Daytona? I know the answer because I took a week off of high school to go down there. Hint: it's a one-hit wonder. And it may not have been an actual hit. But it was all over the radio that week.

We also have a first-in-a-long-time update to verbungle classic. It's a prediction from Pete B.

Fnally, I have an idea for a new feature to the site. Well, actually it's a real old idea that a hundred million people have used already but I have a good new nickname for it. I will interview people I know via instant messaging and post the results here for your enjoyment. These posts will be known as "imterviews" or maybe "IMterviews." Shit I just googled it. Like 80 million people thought of that name first as well.