bombs bursting in air, which is loud as hell you gotta take my word for it
My near-exact thoughts, in order, in the moments immediately following seeing Marlee Matlin signing the words to The Star Spangled Banner prior to the Super Bowl:
1. Wow, that's weird.
2. I can't think of any other time life when it's actually an advantage to be deaf besides during the Godawful National Anthem -- particularly this Godawfuller than usual Billy Joel rendition -- and we just ruined that for them.
3. Er, I guess another time it would be cool to be deaf is when somebody's car alarm goes off in the middle of the night.
4. Wait, what do deaf people use for alarm clocks? Do they have some kind of vibrating thing in the bed, or a bright light that flashes?
5. What is the point to signing the words to a song, anyway? Songs are pretty much an exclusively aural experience, you can't really visually describe a song to someone in a meaningful way. It's like describing a sunset with words. Plus, you gotta figure that any deaf people that had any interest in the lyrics to the SSB had figured them out by now.
Unrelated, but important information for the people at Frito-Lay: hot chicks do not walk down the sidewalk carrying giant bags of Doritos. Never ever. They might eat 'em but not walking down the street. Come on. You lost me with that one.
1. Wow, that's weird.
2. I can't think of any other time life when it's actually an advantage to be deaf besides during the Godawful National Anthem -- particularly this Godawfuller than usual Billy Joel rendition -- and we just ruined that for them.
3. Er, I guess another time it would be cool to be deaf is when somebody's car alarm goes off in the middle of the night.
4. Wait, what do deaf people use for alarm clocks? Do they have some kind of vibrating thing in the bed, or a bright light that flashes?
5. What is the point to signing the words to a song, anyway? Songs are pretty much an exclusively aural experience, you can't really visually describe a song to someone in a meaningful way. It's like describing a sunset with words. Plus, you gotta figure that any deaf people that had any interest in the lyrics to the SSB had figured them out by now.
Unrelated, but important information for the people at Frito-Lay: hot chicks do not walk down the sidewalk carrying giant bags of Doritos. Never ever. They might eat 'em but not walking down the street. Come on. You lost me with that one.
posted by hans q. bungle at 03:20
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home