at least they don't bang interns
So the Yankee season is over. Disappointing, yes, but not surprising. It was a tough year and to be honest I take great satisfaction that they even made it to the postseason. The team's second half surge provided my pop with a lot of happiness in what has been a pretty sour year for him, and for that I am grateful. If you want to call it a rebuilding year, it would have to be considered one of the best. And certainly the most expensive.
As for the Cleveland series, well, they just beat our asses in. They made all the important plays; we fessed at every opportunity. Their dudes did what they were supposed to do; our guys crawled around like a bunch of scared little twerps and failed to produce at the important moments. It was easy for me to accept defeat as a fan because I never for a second felt like we deserved to win. I think Cleveland is a better team and proved it pretty conclusively over the four games.
The season is over and now it's time for a little post-mortem. In twenty minutes, here we go:
1. Torre -- although I disagree with a lot of what he does, I like having him as manager. He got a lot out of this screwy team. That said, it's time for him to go. He's pushing 70, he doesn't need to listen to any more shit from the press or Steinbrenner or Kenny Lofton (who, like most of us, is far more irritating without a moustache). He should retire with dignity and let somebody else clean up the mess.
2. Jeter -- he kind of crapped his pants in the postseason after a typically solid Jeter year. He's starting to show some wear and tear, he hasn't reached a ball more than five feet in either direction of where he's standing in about six years, and he may have given Jessica Alba herpes. I'm kind of over him.
3. Bernie -- oh shit what happened to Bernie?
4. Giambi -- rarely hits the ball. Cannot catch the ball. Don't even think about asking him to throw the ball. Not worth the trouble. Wait, is he still under contract next year?
5. Kevin Brown -- should stay out of town if he knows what's good for him.
6. Posada -- he must have taken some -- ahem -- contract-year steps to improve his performance in his mid-30s, and they paid off. Huge year at the plate but his defense continues to decline. He is a catcher in name only -- he can't block pitches in the dirt, he doesn't relate well to pitchers, he doesn't position himself correctly on plays at the plate. He throws OK once in a while but he really should be DHing somewhere next year. I'd be happy with him as our DH but not at the price he'll want.
7. Melky -- fell apart at the end of the year but I think he's going to be very good. It's nice having a CF who can throw for the first time since...I was a fan?
8. Cano -- still a little cocky but he can hit. I predict a .330 season next year. Needs to get his body in front of hard hit grounders instead of trying to stab them with his glove.
9. A-Rod -- if he goes, we'll need to sign like three guys to replace him, and that might actually be a worthwhile financial decision if that's how we go. Still, he was incredible this season. He was 80% of why we made the postseason. I don't love him but I like 54 HR's. And we share a fondness for female bodybuilders.
10. Matsui -- pretty good. Not great. Kind of goofy. Likes porn.
11. Damon -- came alive after a crappy, injury-filled year. He's getting older but I like him a lot, especially in LF. He seems like he'd be fun to play with. Needs to hit .300 next year, preferably with a Munsonesque Moustache.
12. Farnsworth -- more like Farnsworthless. Ha!
13. Mariano -- definitely not what he was a few years ago but Cleveland still wasn't able to hurt him in the postseason. Another tough decision -- worth bringing back but not for the amount of money he'll probably get. He gets my vote for greatest Yankee since 1970.
14. Wang -- he's pretty good but that postseason was inexcusably atrocious. He'd be a fine number 2 starter. In fact, he pitched like number 2 tonight.
15. Moose -- cut the Moose loose. I like him but it's really hard to watch him pitch. He'd be a good addition the booth.
16. Joba -- as far as the starter/reliever debate goes, I fall on the side of whatever will make a devastating arm injury less likely. Probably closer. The kid is so perfect that I can't help but think something really bad is gonna happen to him -- he has arm and weight problems in his past, too. I think he will be shut down next August.
17. Hughes -- a solid start to his career. I think he'll be our #3 next year and win around 15 games.
18. Pettitte -- a good signing and I think he's got a couple years left. But not a #1 unless he juices.
19. Clemens -- how stoopid does Suzyn Waldman feel now?
20. Abreu -- I am torn between appreciating his patience, defense and speed and wondering why the hell he only hits .280 with 16 HR's. He's a very nice player stuck in a franchise player's body.
21. Cashman -- although he kind of left us without a reliable pitching staff this year, I am happy he didn't get rid of the young dudes to get a big name. Clemens was a huge whiff, but I guess it's just money.
Overall I'm looking forward to next year but I'm feeling sad to see this year's team go so quietly. And the thought of a Boston championship makes me want to lay in bed with the covers over my head.
As for the Cleveland series, well, they just beat our asses in. They made all the important plays; we fessed at every opportunity. Their dudes did what they were supposed to do; our guys crawled around like a bunch of scared little twerps and failed to produce at the important moments. It was easy for me to accept defeat as a fan because I never for a second felt like we deserved to win. I think Cleveland is a better team and proved it pretty conclusively over the four games.
The season is over and now it's time for a little post-mortem. In twenty minutes, here we go:
1. Torre -- although I disagree with a lot of what he does, I like having him as manager. He got a lot out of this screwy team. That said, it's time for him to go. He's pushing 70, he doesn't need to listen to any more shit from the press or Steinbrenner or Kenny Lofton (who, like most of us, is far more irritating without a moustache). He should retire with dignity and let somebody else clean up the mess.
2. Jeter -- he kind of crapped his pants in the postseason after a typically solid Jeter year. He's starting to show some wear and tear, he hasn't reached a ball more than five feet in either direction of where he's standing in about six years, and he may have given Jessica Alba herpes. I'm kind of over him.
3. Bernie -- oh shit what happened to Bernie?
4. Giambi -- rarely hits the ball. Cannot catch the ball. Don't even think about asking him to throw the ball. Not worth the trouble. Wait, is he still under contract next year?
5. Kevin Brown -- should stay out of town if he knows what's good for him.
6. Posada -- he must have taken some -- ahem -- contract-year steps to improve his performance in his mid-30s, and they paid off. Huge year at the plate but his defense continues to decline. He is a catcher in name only -- he can't block pitches in the dirt, he doesn't relate well to pitchers, he doesn't position himself correctly on plays at the plate. He throws OK once in a while but he really should be DHing somewhere next year. I'd be happy with him as our DH but not at the price he'll want.
7. Melky -- fell apart at the end of the year but I think he's going to be very good. It's nice having a CF who can throw for the first time since...I was a fan?
8. Cano -- still a little cocky but he can hit. I predict a .330 season next year. Needs to get his body in front of hard hit grounders instead of trying to stab them with his glove.
9. A-Rod -- if he goes, we'll need to sign like three guys to replace him, and that might actually be a worthwhile financial decision if that's how we go. Still, he was incredible this season. He was 80% of why we made the postseason. I don't love him but I like 54 HR's. And we share a fondness for female bodybuilders.
10. Matsui -- pretty good. Not great. Kind of goofy. Likes porn.
11. Damon -- came alive after a crappy, injury-filled year. He's getting older but I like him a lot, especially in LF. He seems like he'd be fun to play with. Needs to hit .300 next year, preferably with a Munsonesque Moustache.
12. Farnsworth -- more like Farnsworthless. Ha!
13. Mariano -- definitely not what he was a few years ago but Cleveland still wasn't able to hurt him in the postseason. Another tough decision -- worth bringing back but not for the amount of money he'll probably get. He gets my vote for greatest Yankee since 1970.
14. Wang -- he's pretty good but that postseason was inexcusably atrocious. He'd be a fine number 2 starter. In fact, he pitched like number 2 tonight.
15. Moose -- cut the Moose loose. I like him but it's really hard to watch him pitch. He'd be a good addition the booth.
16. Joba -- as far as the starter/reliever debate goes, I fall on the side of whatever will make a devastating arm injury less likely. Probably closer. The kid is so perfect that I can't help but think something really bad is gonna happen to him -- he has arm and weight problems in his past, too. I think he will be shut down next August.
17. Hughes -- a solid start to his career. I think he'll be our #3 next year and win around 15 games.
18. Pettitte -- a good signing and I think he's got a couple years left. But not a #1 unless he juices.
19. Clemens -- how stoopid does Suzyn Waldman feel now?
20. Abreu -- I am torn between appreciating his patience, defense and speed and wondering why the hell he only hits .280 with 16 HR's. He's a very nice player stuck in a franchise player's body.
21. Cashman -- although he kind of left us without a reliable pitching staff this year, I am happy he didn't get rid of the young dudes to get a big name. Clemens was a huge whiff, but I guess it's just money.
Overall I'm looking forward to next year but I'm feeling sad to see this year's team go so quietly. And the thought of a Boston championship makes me want to lay in bed with the covers over my head.
Labels: baseball
posted by hans q. bungle at 00:24
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