20 signs you may no longer rock* (not that you ever really did)
1. The last time you threw up was due to food poisoning.
2. You find yourself getting overly excited about things that are actually pretty lame, like available washing machines in the laundry room or the solace of your afternoon piss.
3. Things that used to make you brag now make you blush.
4. You are not only unfamiliar with the current crop of bands, you are unfamiliar with the venues in which they are playing.
5. You say something -- anything -- good about John Mayer.
6. You have a sore back that prevents you from doing stuff.
7. You wear a scarf.
8. When visiting a prostitute, you are no longer willing to pay extra for "no-condom" intercourse.
9. You attempt to argue that a movie other than Fast Times is the best movie of all time.
10. You write lame, Dave Barry-lite blogposts about how you no longer rock.
11. You are Rod Stewart.
12. You read the business section first.
13. Your moustache no longer has handlebars.
14. You submit less than two NCAA tournament pools.
15. You smoke a pipe or even a damn cigar.
16. You feel cold and want to sit down.
17. New Year's Eve is no longer even close to worth the effort.
18. Instead of sending a potent electric charge through your body, drinking one beer makes you sleepy.
19. At night, you dream about work.
20. Instead of being a dazzling, irrepressible star of your chosen sport, you are now a grumpy and stubborn Coach/GM determined to drag a franchise into the sewer.
Yo, so maybe this post was a little blah, but we are starting up the Trayline again, with a new post maybe halfway done. I've been sick as hell for the last five days, otherwise I'd have it done already. Also, nobody's got bathroomdat yet.
Also, an announcement: I have decided that I want to write more stuff about basketball. But since a lot of you don't give a shit about it, all significant basketball content will now live on the newly-remodeled High Socks and Short Shorts blog. All of DLee's future stuff will live there as well. When there is an update, we will let you know on this ol' bungle. The HS & SS blog previously dealt solely with my fascination for the since-seemingly-disappeared MSG series "Knicks 101", and today we have a final, unpolished entry that I typed up couple of years ago and never brought home. It consists of the notes I jotted down as I watched the Knicks play the Pistons in a game from December 1983. Enjoy.
*or, if you prefer, 20 signs that you have moved on to a more stable and mature place in life.
2. You find yourself getting overly excited about things that are actually pretty lame, like available washing machines in the laundry room or the solace of your afternoon piss.
3. Things that used to make you brag now make you blush.
4. You are not only unfamiliar with the current crop of bands, you are unfamiliar with the venues in which they are playing.
5. You say something -- anything -- good about John Mayer.
6. You have a sore back that prevents you from doing stuff.
7. You wear a scarf.
8. When visiting a prostitute, you are no longer willing to pay extra for "no-condom" intercourse.
9. You attempt to argue that a movie other than Fast Times is the best movie of all time.
10. You write lame, Dave Barry-lite blogposts about how you no longer rock.
11. You are Rod Stewart.
12. You read the business section first.
13. Your moustache no longer has handlebars.
14. You submit less than two NCAA tournament pools.
15. You smoke a pipe or even a damn cigar.
16. You feel cold and want to sit down.
17. New Year's Eve is no longer even close to worth the effort.
18. Instead of sending a potent electric charge through your body, drinking one beer makes you sleepy.
19. At night, you dream about work.
20. Instead of being a dazzling, irrepressible star of your chosen sport, you are now a grumpy and stubborn Coach/GM determined to drag a franchise into the sewer.
Yo, so maybe this post was a little blah, but we are starting up the Trayline again, with a new post maybe halfway done. I've been sick as hell for the last five days, otherwise I'd have it done already. Also, nobody's got bathroomdat yet.
Also, an announcement: I have decided that I want to write more stuff about basketball. But since a lot of you don't give a shit about it, all significant basketball content will now live on the newly-remodeled High Socks and Short Shorts blog. All of DLee's future stuff will live there as well. When there is an update, we will let you know on this ol' bungle. The HS & SS blog previously dealt solely with my fascination for the since-seemingly-disappeared MSG series "Knicks 101", and today we have a final, unpolished entry that I typed up couple of years ago and never brought home. It consists of the notes I jotted down as I watched the Knicks play the Pistons in a game from December 1983. Enjoy.
*or, if you prefer, 20 signs that you have moved on to a more stable and mature place in life.
posted by hans q. bungle at 01:09
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home