super
I am trying to come to grips with the immense satisfaction I felt at the end of the Super Bowl, and what that satisfaction says about me as a person. I am not a huge Giants fan; most of the joy I felt was based on watching New England fail. I admit it. Whatever, here are some of the things that made me smile as I thought about them Sunday night.
1. He didn't believe in heaven, but on the off chance they let him in anyway, my pop probably found a nice bar up there and enjoyed every second of this game on a big HDTV.
2. Rodney Harrison is Bill Romanowski reincarnated: a dirty, cheating, violent bastard. Plus he's got a Sheffield-like Hitler moustache. Watching him fuck up in a multitude of ways during the game's most critical moments was sweeter than I could have ever hoped.
3. Belichick -- another cheating cheater, failing when it matters. And what was up with that 4th and 13 decision? Plus, while there's a 72 percent chance that the 2002 Spygate story is being overblown, it was hard not to notice the incredible lameness of the NFL's response to the accusations:
''There was no evidence of it on the tapes or in the notes produced by the Patriots, and the Patriots told us it was not true.''
I guess it's not true then.
4. I love me the outlandish stupidity of the NY Post -- for those of you who haven't read it in awhile, know that EVERY TIME the Patriots' team name appeared in the paper this season, in any kind of standings, stats page, betting line, etc. it was accompanied by an asterisk. If you scrolled down you would see this. Priceless.
5. Bruschi and Seau's premature man-hug on the sidelines, followed immediately by the Giants driving the ball right down their throats.
6. The humbling effect this should have on the ever-more-arrogant Boston fan base. Chief Douchemaster Bill Simmons in particular. This column, which suggests that both the 2007 Colts and the 1986 Lakers intentionally lost early in the playoffs to avoid being humiliated later by the unbeatable Boston juggernauts that awaited them...well that's just about the dumbest fucking thing I've ever read. Although I must say I thought his postgame column was actually...er...good.
More even than the shhh factor this loss should provide is just the tremendous comfort in knowing the pain that Masshole Nation must feel today. And hoping it compares to what I felt in 2004. I know this makes me a dick but too bad. The Patriots are the most detestable team of the last ten years and their fans, by and large, are even more worthy of our hatred.
7. The Manning scramble/Tyree catch. One of the most exciting plays I've ever seen, when you factor in the stakes.
8. The Steve Smith play on 3rd and 11 when he got the first down and squirmed out of bounds. That was good.
9. I can't believe I'm saying this, but seeing P. Manning in the booth pumping his fist for his li'l bro, while possibly contrived, was actually very touching on a certain level. Especially after all the shit Eli has received (97% of it deservedly).
10. The awesome chili my wife made during the game. Thanks wife, that was delicious.
11. Tom Petty -- I've never been a huge Petty fan, although I guess I've sorta liked most of his hits. I've always considered him a serviceable classic rock dude, nothing special but good enough to sing along to if he came on the radio. Yet somehow seeing Aging Tom Petty and his buds up there onstage doing their thing made me appreciate him more. Maybe it just made me feel less old.
Maybe the fact that I liked it should have made me feel older. Screw it.
1. He didn't believe in heaven, but on the off chance they let him in anyway, my pop probably found a nice bar up there and enjoyed every second of this game on a big HDTV.
2. Rodney Harrison is Bill Romanowski reincarnated: a dirty, cheating, violent bastard. Plus he's got a Sheffield-like Hitler moustache. Watching him fuck up in a multitude of ways during the game's most critical moments was sweeter than I could have ever hoped.
3. Belichick -- another cheating cheater, failing when it matters. And what was up with that 4th and 13 decision? Plus, while there's a 72 percent chance that the 2002 Spygate story is being overblown, it was hard not to notice the incredible lameness of the NFL's response to the accusations:
''There was no evidence of it on the tapes or in the notes produced by the Patriots, and the Patriots told us it was not true.''
I guess it's not true then.
4. I love me the outlandish stupidity of the NY Post -- for those of you who haven't read it in awhile, know that EVERY TIME the Patriots' team name appeared in the paper this season, in any kind of standings, stats page, betting line, etc. it was accompanied by an asterisk. If you scrolled down you would see this. Priceless.
5. Bruschi and Seau's premature man-hug on the sidelines, followed immediately by the Giants driving the ball right down their throats.
6. The humbling effect this should have on the ever-more-arrogant Boston fan base. Chief Douchemaster Bill Simmons in particular. This column, which suggests that both the 2007 Colts and the 1986 Lakers intentionally lost early in the playoffs to avoid being humiliated later by the unbeatable Boston juggernauts that awaited them...well that's just about the dumbest fucking thing I've ever read. Although I must say I thought his postgame column was actually...er...good.
More even than the shhh factor this loss should provide is just the tremendous comfort in knowing the pain that Masshole Nation must feel today. And hoping it compares to what I felt in 2004. I know this makes me a dick but too bad. The Patriots are the most detestable team of the last ten years and their fans, by and large, are even more worthy of our hatred.
7. The Manning scramble/Tyree catch. One of the most exciting plays I've ever seen, when you factor in the stakes.
8. The Steve Smith play on 3rd and 11 when he got the first down and squirmed out of bounds. That was good.
9. I can't believe I'm saying this, but seeing P. Manning in the booth pumping his fist for his li'l bro, while possibly contrived, was actually very touching on a certain level. Especially after all the shit Eli has received (97% of it deservedly).
10. The awesome chili my wife made during the game. Thanks wife, that was delicious.
11. Tom Petty -- I've never been a huge Petty fan, although I guess I've sorta liked most of his hits. I've always considered him a serviceable classic rock dude, nothing special but good enough to sing along to if he came on the radio. Yet somehow seeing Aging Tom Petty and his buds up there onstage doing their thing made me appreciate him more. Maybe it just made me feel less old.
Maybe the fact that I liked it should have made me feel older. Screw it.
posted by hans q. bungle at 02:46
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