something awesome i once did
Out in California staring out the window (pics to come), and I just remembered this.
One time during my senior year in high school, I went to a party at my friend's house. Everybody was getting all drunk and goofy and whatnot, the usual crap. But there was one kid who had really gone around the bend. This person stumbled into the bathroom, closed the door and locked it. Nobody could get in, and the person wasn't responding to knocks, shouts, etc. Everybody, especially the chicks, started getting really worried.
Unfortunately, I can't remember if the locked-in person was a guy or a girl, and if the problem was merely drunkenfuckedupedness, or she-or-he-doesn't-love-me-based depression, or just the need to throw up in private. Who really cares? The facts are: somebody was in locked in that bathroom and nobody could get 'em out.
Meanwhile in a dark corner of the party, I was doing my thing. My thing: carrying on about some stupid horseshit and feeling like Superman. Some girl tapped me on the shoulder and was all, "X is all locked up in the bathroom and we don't know what to do. Should we call 911?"
"Hmmm," I said. "Do you have a hairpin? Like, a bobby pin?"
Mind you, I had no idea what a bobby pin was until a moment later, when the girl produced one from her purse.
"Will this work?" she asked.
"It should," I said, having no idea what I was talking about.
I marched over to the bathroom door, bent the bobby pin open and shoved one end inside a hole that was conveniently located on the end of the doorknob. Then I started jimmying it gently. Within seconds, like maybe 4 seconds, the lock popped open. A group of worried kids streamed into the bathroom, where the locked-in thing lay on the floor in some acute form of misery I no longer can identify. They helped it to its pathetic feet and the crisis was over.
"Shit, Hans, you're like MacGyver," some genius shouted. Let the record show that this was the first time in the history of amateur comedy that someone performing an act of everyday handiness was compared to the always-resourceful hero of the hit show that bore his name. I guess I share the blame for the 8 billion times this joke has been made since.
So there you have it. Pretty awesome, yeah? Have you ever done something awesome like that? Eight GP's for every awesome thing you can name, max 40 total.
Don't like that? How about this:
Yeah. Awesome.
P.S. Thanks for all the additions to the People Who I Suspect Didn't Realize Their Awesomeness Had A Shelf Life Until It Was Too Late List. They were very strong as a whole. A couple I didn't completely agree with but overall very good work. I am gonna dole out 5 GP's per answer but I'm gonna cap it at 25 GP's per person. Don't like it? Too bad. Your awesomeness may be coming to an end, kid.
One time during my senior year in high school, I went to a party at my friend's house. Everybody was getting all drunk and goofy and whatnot, the usual crap. But there was one kid who had really gone around the bend. This person stumbled into the bathroom, closed the door and locked it. Nobody could get in, and the person wasn't responding to knocks, shouts, etc. Everybody, especially the chicks, started getting really worried.
Unfortunately, I can't remember if the locked-in person was a guy or a girl, and if the problem was merely drunkenfuckedupedness, or she-or-he-doesn't-love-me-based depression, or just the need to throw up in private. Who really cares? The facts are: somebody was in locked in that bathroom and nobody could get 'em out.
Meanwhile in a dark corner of the party, I was doing my thing. My thing: carrying on about some stupid horseshit and feeling like Superman. Some girl tapped me on the shoulder and was all, "X is all locked up in the bathroom and we don't know what to do. Should we call 911?"
"Hmmm," I said. "Do you have a hairpin? Like, a bobby pin?"
Mind you, I had no idea what a bobby pin was until a moment later, when the girl produced one from her purse.
"Will this work?" she asked.
"It should," I said, having no idea what I was talking about.
I marched over to the bathroom door, bent the bobby pin open and shoved one end inside a hole that was conveniently located on the end of the doorknob. Then I started jimmying it gently. Within seconds, like maybe 4 seconds, the lock popped open. A group of worried kids streamed into the bathroom, where the locked-in thing lay on the floor in some acute form of misery I no longer can identify. They helped it to its pathetic feet and the crisis was over.
"Shit, Hans, you're like MacGyver," some genius shouted. Let the record show that this was the first time in the history of amateur comedy that someone performing an act of everyday handiness was compared to the always-resourceful hero of the hit show that bore his name. I guess I share the blame for the 8 billion times this joke has been made since.
So there you have it. Pretty awesome, yeah? Have you ever done something awesome like that? Eight GP's for every awesome thing you can name, max 40 total.
Don't like that? How about this:
Yeah. Awesome.
P.S. Thanks for all the additions to the People Who I Suspect Didn't Realize Their Awesomeness Had A Shelf Life Until It Was Too Late List. They were very strong as a whole. A couple I didn't completely agree with but overall very good work. I am gonna dole out 5 GP's per answer but I'm gonna cap it at 25 GP's per person. Don't like it? Too bad. Your awesomeness may be coming to an end, kid.
Labels: awesome things I've done, bartles, jaymes
posted by hans q. bungle at 18:05
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