some piddling shit

I want to finish my latest Trayline thing and a new basketball post for the ol' basketball blog, but I am struggling to put it together. They each require some actual work -- like in the Trayline shit I have to go through a bunch of stuff just to advance the plot along and it gets boring. So I guess I gotta spice it up as I go and it's just tiring me out. So that's on hold.

Instead, some random shit:

Hadn't heard it in about four years until tonight, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a more enjoyable slice of 70's rockstalgia than Thin Lizzy's version of "Whiskey in the Jar":


Speaking of youtube, I am fairly certain you will enjoy these outtakes from my intense California one on one battles with my bro in law. These were intended to be cut into our basketball footage for comic relief. It was then discovered that the actual basketball scenes provided adequate comic relief, and thus these were tragically shelved...until now.



And speaking of celebration, I was impressed by this email I just received from my college comrade JPW, who just celebrated birthday #39:

I also wanted to let you guys know that I passed my annual physical fitness test at the YMCA:

* Dunk – 3 one-handed with plenty of warm-up (my left leg is a bit sore though!)
* Bench 225
* Run 3 miles in 24 minutes

The final test will be next year at 40.

Man, what I would give for one dunk right now. Or ever.

Go Badgers!

UPDATE: New, kinda boring Trayline is now available for your review.

a lighter jacket, a holiday, and visions of you on the orange thing

It's March, and that means Spring Training. Shake out the stiff old leg, do some pushups, maybe go toss the bean around with your pal. Soon we'll be playing under the cozy lights of Clarkson Street, laughing and failing and getting into arguments as if any of it really matters.

In order to do my part, I am warming up with a cold 16 oz. Budweiser this Sunday night.

As I swoosh it around in the back of my mouth for a second before swallowing, I can almost feel the comforting crunch of shredded tires beneath my feet. How I love the outdoors. As my friend-for-an-instant Rich wrote in my high school yearbook 21 years ago, "Man this summer's gonna be a blast. You better be around."

I have been sick as hell for the last 9 days but I think I'm pulling out of the tunnel and things are gonna be OK. Whenever I go down with an illness or an injury I remind myself to be thankful the next time I'm chugging along healthily on all 4 rusted-out middle-aged cylinders. I think I'm just about there. So here's some thankitude in advance.

Feeling better always gives me a fleeting impulse to make changes in the way I live, to streamline this or that, to stick to my budget, to exercise, to get more sleep, to take more of an interest in my life and my family's future and to think about steps that can be taken to get things rolling. It never lasts. I am tired and lazy and for the most part happy as can be with the way things are. I wish I had been born more motivated or had more discipline instilled in me or could somehow find a way to change my basic makeup as a human being, but...I think this is it. Deal with me. Love me. And not just for this huge penis.

Small changes I do promise to make:

-Get bike outta basement, get it tuned up (next weekend), begin riding it around. Ride to softball 85% of the time. Ride to work 72% of the time. Avoid cab fares and other problems associated with cabs and cars.

-Play sports. Starting the weekend after next (next weekend is the wife's 'birthday zone' weekend). Decide that 2008 is my last great stand as an athlete and make the best of it.

-Finish my new Trayline post, about Moving Day 1992, and my new Basketball post, a series of lightweight observations about this season's Golden State Warriors. Go back and give them both a once-over before posting to make them funnier. These will both be in the can by Friday unless something goes wrong.

-Wear something green to work tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day, and re-initiate official Genius Point distribution with the arrival of today's contest: The First Annual Verbungle.com Patty Cake Challenge. Your mission: between Monday and Tuesday, grab your phone cam or your digital cam, whatever you got, and take pictures of as many of these as you can. Fools are getting drunk today, drunker than they anticipated, and they are vomiting on the damn streets! Let's get out there and document it! 20 genius points for each vomit patch you can photograph before Wednesday. If you live in a small town where nobody vomits on the streets, take some initiative: go out and vomit yourself.

Also, Deion will be grandfathered 20 points for his bathroomdat answer of The Blue & Gold.

Finally...it's just about Spring, kids, so why not celebrate with a quick trip back to another Spring not too long ago when the world was a simpler place, when we didn't even know how good we had it, when love was in the air and free time was still in your price range.

20 signs you may no longer rock* (not that you ever really did)

1. The last time you threw up was due to food poisoning.
2. You find yourself getting overly excited about things that are actually pretty lame, like available washing machines in the laundry room or the solace of your afternoon piss.
3. Things that used to make you brag now make you blush.
4. You are not only unfamiliar with the current crop of bands, you are unfamiliar with the venues in which they are playing.
5. You say something -- anything -- good about John Mayer.
6. You have a sore back that prevents you from doing stuff.
7. You wear a scarf.
8. When visiting a prostitute, you are no longer willing to pay extra for "no-condom" intercourse.
9. You attempt to argue that a movie other than Fast Times is the best movie of all time.
10. You write lame, Dave Barry-lite blogposts about how you no longer rock.
11. You are Rod Stewart.
12. You read the business section first.
13. Your moustache no longer has handlebars.
14. You submit less than two NCAA tournament pools.
15. You smoke a pipe or even a damn cigar.
16. You feel cold and want to sit down.
17. New Year's Eve is no longer even close to worth the effort.
18. Instead of sending a potent electric charge through your body, drinking one beer makes you sleepy.
19. At night, you dream about work.
20. Instead of being a dazzling, irrepressible star of your chosen sport, you are now a grumpy and stubborn Coach/GM determined to drag a franchise into the sewer.

Yo, so maybe this post was a little blah, but we are starting up the Trayline again, with a new post maybe halfway done. I've been sick as hell for the last five days, otherwise I'd have it done already. Also, nobody's got bathroomdat yet.

Also, an announcement: I have decided that I want to write more stuff about basketball. But since a lot of you don't give a shit about it, all significant basketball content will now live on the newly-remodeled High Socks and Short Shorts blog. All of DLee's future stuff will live there as well. When there is an update, we will let you know on this ol' bungle. The HS & SS blog previously dealt solely with my fascination for the since-seemingly-disappeared MSG series "Knicks 101", and today we have a final, unpolished entry that I typed up couple of years ago and never brought home. It consists of the notes I jotted down as I watched the Knicks play the Pistons in a game from December 1983. Enjoy.

*or, if you prefer, 20 signs that you have moved on to a more stable and mature place in life.

9 things

I have a lot of thoughts going on right now for the first time in a while, and I guess with the proper time and focus I could turn them into a few coherent posts for your enjoyment. But I got none of that stuff. I got minutes to spare and work to do so y'all are getting one of my little numerical list jobbies.

1. Pete asks for an iPhone re-review, which is interesting because I was just about to do that. Here is the latest news: the iPhone is the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. I recommend getting the new 16GB model, that shit will make you extremely happy. I stand by all the points from the earlier review -- the internet surfing is slow, you rarely find yourself in a hotspot. I misdial and mistype a lot. There are a hundred annoying things about this device. But...it is still the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. The fact that it is an iPod too, and that it can play movies and shit, and you can surf the web at reasonable speeds while sitting on your toilet (assuming you have wifi), and that it has so many other cool features, combine to make it the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. The only legit reasons to wait on buying one are:
-Price = outrageous and insulting.
-AT & T = not so good.
-Soon they will come out with one with the proper cell-surfing protocol, getting rid of this EDGE BS. That said, the EDGE is not as bad as I initially thought. I can play youtube videos without skipping even when I am not in a hotspot.

Just fucking get it already.

2. I have thought about doing this before but realized I don't go out to enough bars anymore to come up with very many entries. That said, here is the first edition of Name That Bathroom:


3. That pic was taken during Chicago Vic's recent visit to NYC. We had a grand old time. I was surprised to discover that the bars seem to still be going strong without me. We're all just temporary in everything we do, I am reminded. Only the buildings survive. Also, bars are full of interesting shit, like overly made-up dogs:


And Vincent-Gallo-lookin' hipsters who are unable to resist being amused by Vic's 4am coaster-flipping prowess:

4. I am missing my pop so much. There have been at least 50 times since January 20th when I want to call him and then remember he's gone. Mostly I just feel sorry for him. He enjoyed life so much, it seems unfair that he can't be here anymore checking out the world and soaking it all in. At the end, as the things he loved kept getting taken away from him (booze, food, Manhattan), he didn't need much to make him happy. Just the TV, the newspaper and enough health to carry on. But I guess that was too much to ask. It also crushes my heart when I point to a picture of him, even one from 50 years ago, and ask my daughter who it is, and she says, "Papa Bob." I feel lucky that they got to know each other but somehow the fact that they were able to form a real relationship makes it all even sadder. I keep thinking back to the last ten years, when a lot of things didn't go his way, and I wish I had been there for him more often. He was the single most important person in my life and I guess he always will be.

5. I got an email from our old pal CLee -- he was a website now and a softball page that puts our site to shame. He sent this picture that made me feel old and nostalgic:


Nothing special, really, just a reminder of how long we've been playing at JJ Walker ballfield and how many people have come and gone. (Isn't that a pre-shearing Dipak on the hill?) Man am I ready for spring and softball and tall boys and the fuzzy upper lip of Hiatus. Looking forward to stuff is the best. Is there any other way to live than doing everything in your power to forget the wreckage of the Past while gathering up the measly crumbs of happiness the Present offers you and looking forward to the majestic morning of Tomorrow? I am open to suggestions.

6. Why can't I get one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs on iTunes?


7. Maybe this comparison is obvious, but Michael Beasley = Derrick Coleman. In every way.

8. Work continues to dawg my ass. Shawshanking this week at the ol' FN. Should be pretty unpleasant. Then going home to work on stuff for the regular job. The future will be better. Right?

9. Prediction for the Yanks this year: 85-77.