15 reasons I hate the Lakers

1. Kobe Bryant may be a rapist. At the very least, he's a shithead.

2. My dad hated Los Angeles and all of its teams. He was born in Chicago, moved to New York in 1954, and never learned to drive a car. He spent the summer of 1980 in Los Angeles, working on a TV pilot that didn't get picked up and relying on friends and buses to get around town. Los Angeles just didn't work for him, and he resented it 'til he died.

3. Derek Fisher and Pau Gasol fall down when touched. I wonder if this extends into their everyday lives, making it impossible for them to take public transportation or attend rock shows.

4. They still have the nerve to call themselves the Lakers while Minnesota's team is forced to call themselves the Timberwolves. I don't think a team called the Timberwolves can ever win a championship.

5. Whatever Wes Matthews did to deserve this must have been pretty bad.*


6. Phil Jackson is a smug, arrogant prick. Yes he is.

7. Sasha Vaginavich.

8. Los Angeles is a town full of phonies. Right, Los Angeles?

9. Jealousy. The Knicks suck and have for the better part of the last 35 years.

10. The Lakers have more bandwagon fans than any team in any sport except for the Yankees and the Cowboys.

11. Chick Hearn is dead.

12. The Great Failed Ring Grab of 2004.

13. I suspect that Luke Walton may not be a legitimate NBA player.

14. Arsenio can't get good seats anymore.

15. Flea's irredeemably stupid and largely incoherent Lakers blog.

*Thanks for the awesome pic, BJL. I know how hard you worked to get it.