9 things

I have a lot of thoughts going on right now for the first time in a while, and I guess with the proper time and focus I could turn them into a few coherent posts for your enjoyment. But I got none of that stuff. I got minutes to spare and work to do so y'all are getting one of my little numerical list jobbies.

1. Pete asks for an iPhone re-review, which is interesting because I was just about to do that. Here is the latest news: the iPhone is the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. I recommend getting the new 16GB model, that shit will make you extremely happy. I stand by all the points from the earlier review -- the internet surfing is slow, you rarely find yourself in a hotspot. I misdial and mistype a lot. There are a hundred annoying things about this device. But...it is still the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. The fact that it is an iPod too, and that it can play movies and shit, and you can surf the web at reasonable speeds while sitting on your toilet (assuming you have wifi), and that it has so many other cool features, combine to make it the greatest damn thing in the history of the universe. The only legit reasons to wait on buying one are:
-Price = outrageous and insulting.
-AT & T = not so good.
-Soon they will come out with one with the proper cell-surfing protocol, getting rid of this EDGE BS. That said, the EDGE is not as bad as I initially thought. I can play youtube videos without skipping even when I am not in a hotspot.

Just fucking get it already.

2. I have thought about doing this before but realized I don't go out to enough bars anymore to come up with very many entries. That said, here is the first edition of Name That Bathroom:


3. That pic was taken during Chicago Vic's recent visit to NYC. We had a grand old time. I was surprised to discover that the bars seem to still be going strong without me. We're all just temporary in everything we do, I am reminded. Only the buildings survive. Also, bars are full of interesting shit, like overly made-up dogs:


And Vincent-Gallo-lookin' hipsters who are unable to resist being amused by Vic's 4am coaster-flipping prowess:

4. I am missing my pop so much. There have been at least 50 times since January 20th when I want to call him and then remember he's gone. Mostly I just feel sorry for him. He enjoyed life so much, it seems unfair that he can't be here anymore checking out the world and soaking it all in. At the end, as the things he loved kept getting taken away from him (booze, food, Manhattan), he didn't need much to make him happy. Just the TV, the newspaper and enough health to carry on. But I guess that was too much to ask. It also crushes my heart when I point to a picture of him, even one from 50 years ago, and ask my daughter who it is, and she says, "Papa Bob." I feel lucky that they got to know each other but somehow the fact that they were able to form a real relationship makes it all even sadder. I keep thinking back to the last ten years, when a lot of things didn't go his way, and I wish I had been there for him more often. He was the single most important person in my life and I guess he always will be.

5. I got an email from our old pal CLee -- he was a website now and a softball page that puts our site to shame. He sent this picture that made me feel old and nostalgic:


Nothing special, really, just a reminder of how long we've been playing at JJ Walker ballfield and how many people have come and gone. (Isn't that a pre-shearing Dipak on the hill?) Man am I ready for spring and softball and tall boys and the fuzzy upper lip of Hiatus. Looking forward to stuff is the best. Is there any other way to live than doing everything in your power to forget the wreckage of the Past while gathering up the measly crumbs of happiness the Present offers you and looking forward to the majestic morning of Tomorrow? I am open to suggestions.

6. Why can't I get one of my all-time favorite Beatles songs on iTunes?


7. Maybe this comparison is obvious, but Michael Beasley = Derrick Coleman. In every way.

8. Work continues to dawg my ass. Shawshanking this week at the ol' FN. Should be pretty unpleasant. Then going home to work on stuff for the regular job. The future will be better. Right?

9. Prediction for the Yanks this year: 85-77.

The Asshole Factor

If you're wondering where I've been, I'll tell you. Working. Way. Too. Much.

Last Friday night at 2am, I punched out and headed home after a 41 hour workday. That's right: I showed up for work at 9am on Thursday and didn't return until Friday night at 2am. That's 41 hours straight, no sleep, no poop, no special massage, no internets, no steakhouse dinners, no champagne, caviar, or bubble baths. No relief of any kind. I must have downed 18 cups of coffee in the 41 hours. Somehow, my bowels held up.

By the end of the 41 I was punch-drunk and wobbly and I had lost control of my thoughts and movements. Words were coming out of my mouth before I could think to say them, and as a result most of them made no sense. It was a really unhealthy, disorienting kind of fatigue/nausea/panic/depression that I can't quite describe. I think it's probably sort of what The Bends feels like. You tweakers probably know what I was dealing with. Same goes for doctors who's worked multiple shifts back to back, anyone who's ever been trapped in a building collapse, anyone who's watched a Real World marathon on MTV, and Jack Torrance.

As I groggily stepped into a cab at the end of this monstrous shift, the ass of my pants ripped spectacularly -- right up the seam, a good eight inches. It was all too appropriate.

I won't say any more about any of this other than how gratifying it was that all our efforts paid off: we saved that ten year-old boy's life.

Oh, wait...we actually didn't. We just made some stuff and sent it out to the people for consumption.

One thing I really wanted to do was an iPhone review, but I haven't had time. Now I have like eight minutes, so here goes.

Cons:
1. internet is painfully slow unless connected to wifi
2. rarely connects to wifi; how many hotspots are big enough to stay with you as you walk or drive around? zero.
3. cannot create your own ringtones by yelling stuff into phone
4. camera fairly well sucks; if you twitch or if your subject twitches you get a blurry piece of shit. if it's dark, you'd be better off just making a quick pencil sketch. however, if conditions are good, you can get a decent shot. here is a cute one of Baby Bungle:

5. touch-screen typing sucks, you must stare at screen to type and still get frequent key misses
6. vibrate mode is not vibratey enough, leading to numerous missed calls
7. ATT service sucks, leading to dropped calls, missed calls, and lots of what?-based conversations
8. need to press multiple buttons to dial a call
9. iPod interface kinda sucks. not enough controls handy and need to press buttons more than once to register a press all the damn time. then accidentally starts or stops playing at random moments because it brushes against a piece of lint in your pocket
10. battery does not last as long as they say it does, i forgot to charge the phone one night and it actually died the next day; this never happened to me before with a phone
11. The Asshole Factor: it is hard to walk around with a $500 phone and not feel like an asshole. As a result, when I make calls on it at work I find myself sneaking away so nobody can see it. I went to a bachelor party a few years ago for a friend who I hadn't seen much in recent years. There were some people I knew there and then some other dudes who I'd never met. One of these new dudes had some fancy-ass cell phone with a sliding spinning panel thing on it, and he kept showing it off and bragging about it. Finally, somebody (possibly me) made a sarcastic comment about it and he replied, "You have no idea how much pussy this phone has gotten me." I let this declaration of assholery stand instead of piling on top of it, a decision I now regret. Whatever, the point is that people who have $300, $400, or $500 cell phones are usually assholes. Pussy-gettin' assholes, but assholes nonetheless. So I need to distance myself from them -- I assume it will be easier now with the price drop and the ensuing ubiquity of the iPhone.
12. touch screen in general activates too often by accident, and not often enough when you want it to
13. no cutting and pasting
14. cannot use blogger for some reason
15. hands-free does not sound all that good

Pros:
1. Every time I hold it I feel so irrationally happy that I nearly pee myself.

That's it.

Seriously, I also like the voicemail interface a lot -- you can see a readout on the screen of your messages and choose which ones to listen to and in what order. And one thing I never thought I'd care about, but I do -- having all my devices in one unit. I love not bringing an iPod to work anymore.

There are lots of other cool grabby features and stuff but they get old after awhile. Overall I would say that I love having it but I expect the one that comes out in 6 months to be 85% better than this one (and cheaper, too).