1. The waiter who refuses to write stuff down. 

2. The chick at work who gets all pissed off when you shoot her in the face with the compressed air.

3. The guy at work who's always spraying people with the compressed air.

4. The lady at work who plays her music really loud, knowing people are too scared of her potentially bitchy response to tell her to turn it down or shut it off altogether.

5. The acquaintance you see once in a while who tries to convince you that his life is nothing but a series of triumphs -- he wants you to think he's got it all figured out, and he's full of shit.

6. The acquaintance you see once in a while whose life IS actually nothing but a series of triumphs, who actually DOES have it all figured out.

7. The girl at work who's not even half as cute as she thinks she is, yet tries to capitalize on her looks in everything she does.

8. The underappreciated loner at work who's having a bad day, and lets everybody know about it by cursing, slamming shit around, or being curt with people who have nothing to do with his troubles.

9. The panhandler who makes a beeline for you on the sidewalk and gets right in your face.

10. The self-styled genius who uses technical jargon and abbreviations that are specific to his area of expertise in casual conversation.

11.  The friend of your friend who your friend brings out every now and then and you really don't like, but you have to be polite to.

12. The bartender chick who gets on the PA and starts screaming at everybody for not drinking enough or not tipping enough.

13. The annoying sad sack with the incredible bad luck that you secretly hate, but you have to pretend to feel sympathy for.

14. The dude who uses other people's jokes without crediting them, and always gets big laughs.

15. The cheapskates who always end up spending 25 bucks in a night when everybody else spends 80.

16. The unenlightened jerks who, when you are shooting around prior to a pickup basketball game, only give you change when you make it, and never go out of their way to improve the plight of mankind by tossing somebody the ball just for the hell of it.  This goes double for the guy who's half paying attention and retrieves somebody's ball that just went in, and ignorantly fails to give him his courtesy, choosing to dribble slowly back to the top of the key before launching his own shot.  And triply for the guy who, when he doesn't receive courtesy for a twelve footer, claps his hands and calls for the ball.  The pre-game shooting ritual is a chance for all of us to enhance each other's lives with our unselfishness.  We can still be ball-hogs once the game starts.

17. The kinda-bigwig at the office who makes a big show of the fact that he's changing the bottle on the water cooler.

18. The still-kinda-fat person who just changed their diet and wants to inflict those changes on everyone else's diets.

19. The jackass in the breakroom who makes a "grossed-out" face and accompanying comment like "How can you eat that?" at what someone else is eating and enjoying.

20. The douche who doesn't say thank you even when it is glaringly necessary, say when you wait an extra 5 seconds to hold the door for him.

21. The cabbie who takes the asinine route.

22. The teenagers in sheep meadow who crank people in the head with their wayward frisbee tosses and barely apologize.

23. The weasel who is obsessed with office politics and tells you all the latest rumors, 80% of which turn out to be false.

24. The overaggressive, self-important bouncer/security guard/cop.

25. The chap who likes to break fair and insignificant rules just to show that he's not society's bitch.

26. The lady at work who consistently smells bad and pretends not to know about it.

27. The motherfuckers who don't clean up their dog's shit.

28. The low tippers who order off the menu.

29. The ignorami who can't take a polite hint.

30. The fuckwad who expresses condescending shock when you actually admit that no, you're not familiar with the concept he's discussing and could he please elaborate.  "Really? You've never read Nikolai Peebles?  So you don't know about the Theory of the Eight Planes? Wow..."  This is a glaring and unintentional admission of their own insecurity, yet it still makes you feel bad.

31. The unforgivable schmucks who speak for other people inaccurately and without those people's permission.

32. The self-righteous folks whose argument for not giving money to panhandlers is that they will just spend it on drugs or booze.  Anyone else who manages to take the high road and the easy road at the same time.

33. The loser who's still obsessed with the same defunct band.

34. The guy who busts out the shorts on the first reasonably mild day, just to show how laid-back and cool he is.

35. The woman who suddenly would like to be called by a different first name.

36. The recovering alcoholic celebrity who keeps emphasizing the fact that alcoholism is a disease.

37. The asshole at the party who says, "Justin Timberlake is really talented." This is inexcusable no matter if he says it because a) he wants to impress a girl, b) he wants to show how open-minded he is, how eclectic his musical tastes are, c) because he heard someone he thinks is cooler than him say it or d) for any other reason.

38. The hustler at the deli who puts his merchandise on the counter, runs back into the store to pick up more items, and then runs back with the additional items and tries to jump right to the front of the line because his stuff is there.

39.  The wide receiver who jumps up in the air begging for a pass interference penalty six times a game.

40. The would-be physician you work with who's been struggling with the flu for like two days, and then makes an angry face when you object to his uncovered-mouth cough, saying, "I'm not contagious anymore."