Is this mean-spirited?

pissing off your neighbors

This is a note my kind German neighbor Jurgen left for me during a weekend about four years ago when my friends came to town.  Jurgen and I were ideal neighbors.  We occupied the only two units on the top floor of my 4 story apartment building, and we always said hello and smiled in the hall.  Best of all, we never made any attempt to learn so much as the other person's name.  In fact, I wasn't aware his name was Jurgen until I got this note.  I guess he didn't appreciate my friends and I turning the rooftop into our own little after-bar "extravaganza."  Shit, he would have been welcome to join us.  We could have used him when we got in a shouting match with residents of other nearby buildings. Those uptight fogeys thought there was something inappropriate about the tunes we were blasting from a boombox at 4am.  I guess it must have been a school night.

Vincent's fears about the Giant squid

Read Vincent's alarming update on the news story the government doesn't want you to see.  If we invade another country in the next couple of weeks, you can bet it's a ploy to distract us from this...

What does Tom Ridge think about this?
 

THINGS AMBROSE MISSES ABOUT 80's BASBEBALL
 

- kind of knowing that everyone was on coke

- those idiotic Kabuki-style mascots (the San Diego Chicken, the Phillie Phanatic, Montreal's Youppi, the Mets' own Mr. Met, and so on...)

- driving relief pitchers in the 250 feet from the pen to the mound; at least the Yankees tied it in with a sponsor: the Mets only had a golf cart with a giant version of each team's hat on it

- When a guy was called in from the bullpen and eschewed being driven in, preferring instead to walk or to jog in, I miss the announcers saying he a) was in great shape or b) was a tough guy.

- I miss 90% of the players having moustaches or other facial hair.  I remember thinking it was odd that Gary Carter did not have any.

- I miss watching guys like Gary Maddox who had served in Vietnam.  Not a game he was in went by without the announcers insinuating that he must have killed hundreds over there, due to his speed and prowess in centerfield.

- I miss the stolen base being the centerpiece of the game.  A guy like Vince Coleman or John Moses or Brett Butler having the ability to slow the game down to a crawl while the pitcher threw over to first a dozen times and stepped over a dozen times and generally fiddled around for 20 minutes.  And then the guy always stole anyway and was always safe.
 

Be sure not to miss the "country cocksuckers" line.

Update:

Please learn the...

Requirements for Anal Examination

Even if you're not performing an anal examination, it's good to have these around.

E-mails that you have forwarded to us from your offices, homes, and fancy portable devices.  These are not forwarded e-mails with lists of the same old jokes.  These are real exchanges from across the Universe.  Much more exciting.

1. the gatorade project

2. The Moon

3. Ogg Log III (beware: toilet humor)

4. PEST CONTROL

5. The golf course (beware:  additional toilet humor)

This comes from a national ad for some Scientific American books that were for sale.  Somehow, this description of the Dwarf Mongoose's behavior was expected to sell books.  Please examine; sorry for the poor condition.

You know how political pundits are always talking about "Joe Sixpack"?  Well, I always found that condescending until I saw the guy in the background and realized that he's an actual person.

Inxe:   hey
Rody0:  yo
Inxe:   check this out
Inxe:   i was at Penn station in manhattan like an 1 hr ago
and i saw this man
Inxe:   he looked just like Ambrose
Inxe:   and he was drunk
Inxe:   and stumbling around
Rody0:  was it him?
Inxe:   i didnt stop though
Inxe:   should have of course
Rody0:  probably him
Inxe:   find that out