Men at Cork
OK, I want everyone (that's right, both of you) to chime in on the Sammy Sosa issue.
First, here are my personal thoughts on the facts of what happened with Sosa:
-The 76 uncorked bats go a long way towards restoring his credibility, as do the ones that are in Cooperstown (although I guess he could have sent the Hall of Fame fake bats if the real ones were corked -- not sure who filled out the FedEx form to ship those).
-My guess is that he knew the bat was corked, but did it because he was feeling doubts about his abilities -- he was starting to feel mortal, and he looked for an edge. I doubt that many of his previous homers were hit with corked bats, but it wouldn't surprise me if he had used a corked bat from time to time to break a slump. I really think a corked bat is more of a psychological edge than anything else.
-It is possible that he is telling the complete truth, it was just a batting practice bat that got slipped in by mistake. It is also possible that he uses corked bats all the time. As my friend Brady pointed out to me, if you were using a corked bat, you would probably just keep the one corked bat among your bats, in case it broke and the rest of them were confiscated.
More important to me (and hopefully to many other doofuses who watches sports and/or listen to sports radio) is what to make of the whole thing from an ethical standpoint.
Since we can't know for sure (at least not yet) how often Sammy used a corked bat, let's assume the worst and say he is a chronic corker, who's been corkin' like Andrea Dworkin since he came into the majors. Let's also assume that there is some measurable difference in the flight of a ball hit by a corked bat than that of a ball hit with a solid wood bat, that he has gained a real advantage. Who gives a shit? Don't athletes cheat all the time? Isn't part of sports (and part of life) seeing how much you can get away with, within and without the limits of the rules? Don't you sometimes drive twenty miles over the speed limit, even though you know it's slightly dangerous to yourself and others? I am not saying he shouldn't be punished -- he broke the rules, and there should be a price to pay -- for getting caught. Now I don't think you can take this argument much further -- it's not OK to slice someone's neck with a broken-off bottle of Tequiza Light just because you can get away with it. But we are talking about sports here. It's a silly game. I know the record books are tarnished somehow if Sammy has been using a corked bat all these years, and I love baseball statistics as much as anyone. But it doesn't bother me that much because 1) the statistics measure performance of players in a silly game, and 2) all the statistics are tainted by something or other. Babe Ruth (let's assume for a moment, against what we know to be true, that there really was a guy named Babe Ruth, who really did play professional baseball, and really did hit 714 home runs, and really ate all those hot dogs) hit all those home runs in an era where I bet the average pitcher threw the ball 73 miles per hour. I also bet if I worked out for 3 months, went back to Babe Ruth's era, and took a few cuts, I could hit .300 with some decent power. Does anyone ever talk about his 714 homers being tainted by the era he played in, or the fact that black players weren't allowed to play back then? Think about that. Talk about a fucking asterisk. It's like, Babe Ruth, the greatest of the chubby white guys who ever played the game...that only chubby white guys were allowed to play. I guess skinny white guys were allowed to play then, too, but there were certainly no Sammy Sosas around. If Sammy played then, he would have hit about 3,000 home runs. You can probably prove that somehow, too. Anyway, I am just pointing out that records are all fairly meaningless, I'm not trying to blame "Babe Ruth" for the conditions he played under.
Go ahead and cheer, you goodhearted drunks.
And if people think Sammy is a "role model" and that tons of kids are going to get the wrong idea on how to play the game based on what Sammy did, I say, "Bullshit." What a great opportunity for a parent to explain to his kids that cheating and lying and screwing up are all bad, and also that you can recover from any mistakes that you make. Better yet, what a great opportunity to show your kids what it REALLY takes to succeed at the highest level of sports -- you have to cheat and use steroids and cork your bat, and then you still might not make it. Maybe that will help show kids what a farfetched career choice "professional slugger" is.
The obvious comparison is Gaylord Perry -- he cheated in almost the same manner Sammy did, by doctoring the tools of his sport (worse yet, he doctored the ball, which everybody had to play with, as opposed to Sammy, who just doctored his own equipment). But somehow Gaylord Perry is seen as a wily old-timer, as opposed to a cheater who taints the legacy of his sport. How about Graig Nettles and the superballs? Everyone just thinks that's funny. Maybe it's racism, but more likely it's that Sammy's numbers are so ridiculous, even in comparison to Perry's hall of fame career, that we feel the need to re-evaluate them if he was using a phony bat. Like the world would be ruined if he breaks any more home run records (Bonds and McGwire sure look like they may have taken some liberties with the steroid policy). Fuck it. Michael Jordan shoved off on his most famous game winning-shot, Bill Laimbeer probably grabbed 8,000 rebounds by pushing somebody in the back or grabbing somebody's arm or throwing his hip violently into an opposing player, all in violation of the rules. Offensive linemen hold on every play. Soccer players dive like little babies every chance they get. Hockey players are grabbing and poking and jabbing each other all the time. Cheating is a huge part of sports. It's only that we take our stats and records and sports so seriously that we've reached the point we have -- where guys are going to the lengths of damaging their bodies with steroids, corking their bats, etc. It's all about getting the "edge."
Part of me thinks the Cubs should thank Sammy for trying so hard to produce for the team. There's nothing sacred about sports, and we all need to forgive Sammy and go ahead with our own business. As Corky himself might have said, life goes on.
Ambrose's thoughts:
- I'm just amazed at how much the corked bat issue has overshadowed the obvious
steroid issue. If no one was willing to doubt his amazing feats before, I'm glad
there is at last something in the back of people's heads about him. McGwire had
his androstenodione, made folks wonder, now Sosa has his cork. I can't wait for
something to turn up on Barry Bonds. I can't wait.
- Corked bats are illegal not only because of an advantage gained by the batter,
but for safety reasons. Aside from the obvious issue of a batted ball getting
lined off a pitcher's skull, a corked bat breaks more easily than a solid one.
Steve Yeager 2, anyone?
- I agree with you 100% about pre-1947 players and stats: to hell with them.
They're as worthless as a statistical yardstick as James Naismith's first-ever
game of basketball is to today's game. I also suspect that, since we know Babe
Ruth 'swatted' HRs with a 42-ounce cudgel, we know the pitchers did not throw
nearly as hard as they do now. The goddam old-timers want it both ways: the old
players worked in a supermarket during the off-season, they didn't ever lift
weights, they drank and caroused all night, they played triple headers while
drunk, they pitched both ends of a double header, YET they were every bit as
good (if not better) than the modern player. Ridiculous.
Dipak's thoughts:
Getting pumped for Softball
If you are feeling that singles don't quite cut it and you want to be like Sosa
and McGuire, im your man. As you may or may not know, I basically sell legal
drugs.
If anyone is interested in the below items, you will find me at the Clarkson and
Hudson Sunday nites.
1, (5-alpha) Androstenediol - (1AD) 2225.00/Kilogram
19-Nor-4-Androstenediol 1732.00/Kilogram
19-Nor-4-Androstenedione 862.00/Kilogram
4-Androstenediol 410.00/Kilogram
5-Androstenedione 540.00/Kilogram
Homeruns hit last night by players on steroids: